One thing my friends know about me (and now you do too) is I’m an unapologetic social media “stalker” (in quotes because I consider social media public and therefore I’m not actually stalking). The other day I found myself on my mother’s Facebook account (nobody is safe from my wrath) and found some blog posts of mine she shared when my FB account was deactivated. I found comments and reshares I hadn’t seen at the time and was surprised that I felt retroactively supported.
There’s a lot that IJM prepared us for prior to sending us abroad, but I can promise you that leaving for Bolivia, experiencing civil unrest in South America, being evacuated, waiting indefinitely for reassignment, finally going to pack my belongings in Bolivia and heading to Peru, only lasting two weeks before a military enforced lock down, being evacuated on even shorter notice, finding housing (again) in Minneapolis (during a pandemic), and living in the heart of international uprisings sparked after George Floyd’s murder… was not covered in our orientation.
What doesn’t kill you gives you a killer Hinge profile and lots to talk about on a first date?
I’ve been navigating some uncharted territory, and for a while everybody told me to quickly write it all down. So I did. Or, at least, I tried.
What came out wasn’t some adventurous tale about choking on tear gas at legal protests and dodging cars and semis that drove into the crowd. What came out was a lot of loneliness, confusion, grief, and constant fear of what could possibly come next. Needless to say, it wasn’t a fun read.
What writing did do was show I wasn’t ready to reflect on any of those events yet. I was still in survival mode and needed to invest more in tending to myself and making myself feel safe.
It’s been a journey (and one that’s ongoing for sure).
What’s amazed me most is how freeing it is. Everybody warned me of growing up (and I recognize that I’m only 24). They told me to enjoy being a kid, warned me of rushing through college, and complained about all of the responsibilities of being an adult. That just hasn’t been my experience.
Don’t get me wrong, the big sad (read: depression) hit pretty hard, and I miss when “Drop Everything And Read” was scheduled into my school day, but I feel as curious and as open to learning new things as ever. Plus, I now have more freedom to do so.
I started training at a parkour gym, switched jobs again (now at CTUL), moved again (now South Minneapolis), traveled spontaneously (and continuously), and I don’t get in trouble for eating my dessert before my meals. I’ve made being an “adult”… kind of rock.
Feel free to stick around to read about being an international protestor, and be ready to sift through more posts about the daily work that’s had to happen since. It’s been a lot of slowing down, re-learning, and re-evaluating to sustain myself while engaging with the never ending fight.
I renamed the blog because during this time I realized I’m not just an ally, but somebody who also has a stake in the fight for justice. We all are, and it’s super important to dig internally to learn how to see yourself in the movement.
I do have a posting schedule and other drafts ready, so more content will be coming semi-consistently, but in the meantime, here are some articles to check out and a few things to clarify.
The Minneapolis Police Budget INCREASED, so no, MPD was not defunded nor abolished. The City of Minneapolis was found to have failed its residents (including protestors) in response to 2020 uprisings. One year after Daunte Wright’s death family and community still grieve the loss. After a lethal no-knock warrant (which Minneapolis Mayor had implemented restrictions on in 2020) officers involved in Amir Locke’s death were not charged.
Looks like you have been having some time to get away and regroup!! Everyone needs that!! Love, Gma