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What Almost Never Was

Posted on July 10, 2019April 7, 2020

I almost rescinded my application for the IJM internship… multiple times. One of IJM’s core values is “Christian” and that’s an unfortunately heavy word to lean into. I have had many negative experiences in the church, in Bible studies, and by people clinging to a “Christian” identity. I didn’t know what IJM would think, but others had left me feeling as if I weren’t Christian enough to bear the label.

Holly Burkhalter

Then Holly Burkhalter took the mic at orientation.

Holly was open about how she had spent most of her life as an atheist. She worked alongside Gary Haugen in the aftermaths of the Rwandan Genocide but while that pushed Gary closer to God, it pushed Holly further from Him. She was open about her struggles with mental health and confronting horrific human rights abuses without any hope for justice. She had fallen into believing that the world, and people living in it, were too broken to reflect a loving God and that “Christian” meant being exclusive, hurtful, and traditional.

” For liberals like me, the word Christian came to be synonymous with bigotry, exclusivity, and antiscientific fundamentalism… I once heard it said that you can believe in an all-powerful and loving God or you can believe in the Holocaust, but you cannot believe in both.”

Good God, Lousy World, and Me – Holly Burkhalter

Spoiler alert: Holly ends up learning more about God, corrects many of the misconceptions she had about Christianity, and finds hope in a newfound Christian faith. She switched from working with partner organizations of IJM’s to working for IJM and finished her talk with “and I am still a liberal feminist with anxiety, but now I know God.”

I needed to hear that.

I’ve always believed in a God similar to the one she learned to love, but my faith has been shaken by Christians and churches preaching things similar to the quote Holly opened with. I’ve been bashed for my activism, my more liberal leanings, my clinically diagnosed anxiety disorder, and my critical thinking. I’ve had many Christians throw Leviticus 19:28 at me for my tattoos and tell me I deserve higher punishment for my sins because they’re worse than others.

When I’m strong enough, I can see through these lies and remember that none of that reflects the loving God I believe in. The problem is, I’m not always strong. I wasn’t sure I could trust IJM to not betray me the way others had.

IJM is Not a Christian Ministry

Holly put me at ease because her talk confirmed that IJM does NOT align with a political party, denomination, or one understanding of the Bible. There is no IJM statement of faith, but there is a “Statement of Biblical Foundation ” which is (in my words) a list of Bible verses that confirm God is a God of justice who loves everyone and wants everyone to be treated equally. IJM has workers on every side of every debate you can think of, but we all agree that God’s heart breaks at the sight of injustice.

” IJM is a non-sectarian community of faith that works with all people to seek justice on behalf of all people regardless of race, religion, creed or any other status.”

IJM.org

IJM is not evangelizing or trying to convert people. If you are not a Christian and want to fight against slavery, IJM will put you in contact with one of their partner organizations. The fight against slavery needs everybody.

So Why is IJM “Christian”

Long story short – it is the foundation that keeps us going. Because we believe in a God of justice, we are able to recognize that there is a bigger force out there that will alleviate the burden from each of us as individuals.

How does it affect our work? We start each day with a half hour of stillness, have a half hour of corporate prayer, and engage in prayer retreats as a staff.

” As a faith community, IJM’s core of full-time staff intentionally draw strength and unity from their common commitment to the teachings of Jesus Christ and from their communion of daily prayer and spiritual disciplines… As Mother Theresa did in Kolkata, IJM seeks to provide a common platform for all people of good will to serve the needy, while also building a core community who share her fundamental convictions of Christian faith and practice… As with any such society of faith, SEC. 2000e-1 [Section702] of Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 makes provision for employment along lines of shared religious convictions.”

IJM.org

IJM does not preach or use faith to convert, evangelize, discriminate, or work. If you are not a Christian, that is totally okay.

I’m thankful for organizations like IJM that allow me to lean into my faith while still practicing it how I believe is best. I’ll also use this opportunity to shout out my friends and family who have continued to remind me there is no such thing as “not Christian enough” and help me see truth in everything. Thanks to you all, I’m never alone <3

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